Understanding Regret: An Overview
Table of Contents
ToggleThe Impact of Regret on Professionals
For professionals, the impact of regret can be particularly profound, hinging on far-reaching decisions often made that influence not just their personal lives but also the lives of others associated with them.
Here’s a snapshot of how regret can impact professionals:
- Loss of mental peace: Persistent regret leads to constant ruminating about the past, resulting in chronic stress levels.
- Physical symptoms: High stress associated with prolonged regret can manifest as breathing difficulties, chronic pain, and other physical complaints.
- Emotional distress: Feelings of guilt, shame, and disappointment can hinder happiness and contentment.
- Impaired focus: Dwelling on past decisions can distract from present tasks and impair professional performance.
- Hampered relationships: The negative emotional state can strain personal and professional relationships.
The Nature of Regret
Regret is a universal emotion experienced by everyone, but it can manifest differently depending on the individual and their circumstances. For high-achieving professionals, regret often stems from choices related to their career or personal life.The Psychology of Regret
Regret is an emotional and cognitive state where we feel sadness or disappointment over a past action or decision. It is a response to perceived opportunities that were not fully realized or decisions that did not yield the expected result. Researchers have found that the opportunity to make a choice plays a significant role in regret. When the decision was largely influenced by external factors, you’re less likely to feel regretful. On the other hand, when you have more control over your decisions and a wide array of options, regret is more likely to occur (Verywellmind). Read more: Tailored Therapy for High-Achieving Professionals in North CarolinaCommon Regrets Among Professionals
High-achieving professionals often have specific areas where regret tends to concentrate. According to a study, the most common regrets among professionals revolve around areas such as education, career choices, romantic decisions, and parenting. These regrets can range from not pursuing a certain career path to not asking out someone they were attracted to. Interestingly, people are more likely to regret inaction than action. This is because actions not taken are more subject to imagined outcomes. The consequences of the actions you did take are set in stone and readily apparent, but the ones you didn’t take seem like boundless opportunities wasted (Verywellmind). Read more: Effective Stress Reduction Techniques for High-Achieving ProfessionalsThe Physical and Emotional Toll of Regret
Regret, if not managed properly, can have adverse effects on both your physical and emotional health. Physically, regret can lead to symptoms such as muscle tension, sleep disturbances, changes in appetite, headaches, muscle pain, joint pain, and chronic stress. Emotionally, regret can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and depression. Persistent regret can increase your risk of problems with breathing issues, chest pain, joint pain, and poorer overall health (Verywellmind). At Momentum Psychology, we understand the impact that regret can have on your mental and physical well-being. We’re here to provide effective therapy for professionals struggling with regrets, helping you learn tools to manage these feelings and move forward with a healthier mindset. Read more: Moving Forward: Therapy for Professionals Dealing with RegretsMomentum Psychology: Your Partner in Overcoming Regret
About Momentum Psychology
At Momentum Psychology, we understand the unique pressures and challenges faced by high-achieving professionals. Our founder, Dr. Newman, was a corporate lawyer before becoming a psychologist, so she knows firsthand the struggles of balancing a demanding career with personal life. That’s why we specialize in therapy for professionals struggling with regrets. We’re not just experts in psychology. We’re experts in your world. Most of our therapists have experienced the demands of working in a corporate or institutional environment where your time is truly never your own. We get it – really, we do. And we’re dedicated to helping you navigate through the regrets and guilt that can come with such high-pressure environments. Read more: The Benefits of Online Therapy for Professionals in North CarolinaHow Momentum Psychology Can Help Professionals Deal with Regret
Regret can be a tough emotion to navigate, but it doesn’t have to hold you back. We believe that regret can be a powerful catalyst for change when handled correctly. We’re here to help you shift away from regret and connect to your values, move beyond an “if only” mindset, and balance accountability with self-forgiveness. We use evidence-based therapeutic models that are tailored to address the unique needs and challenges of professionals. Our approach is rooted in the art and science of high-performance psychology, using strategies that are on-the-money and effective. Our goal is to help you accept and understand your regrets, learn from them, and use them as stepping stones to create the life you want. As part of our commitment to making therapy accessible for busy professionals, we offer secure online video conferencing sessions. So wherever you are, and however packed your schedule, we can work together to help you move forward from your regrets. Dealing with regret is a journey, and it’s not one you have to take alone. At Momentum Psychology, we’re here to walk alongside you, offering understanding, guidance, and effective strategies to help you turn your regrets into opportunities for growth and change. Don’t let regret hold you back any longer. Let’s work together to help you move forward and realize your full potential. Read more: Therapy for Executives: Addressing Trauma for Professional SuccessThe Connection Between Regret, Guilt, and Mental Health
Navigating the complex emotional terrain that regret can create is no easy task. Adding fuel to the fire, guilt often accompanies regret. Guilt, if not addressed properly, can trigger mental health concerns, further complicating the situation. As a therapy provider, at Momentum Psychology, we see firsthand the intertwined nature of regret, guilt, and mental health.The Role of Guilt in Regret
Guilt has a significant role to play in the experience of regret. It is a common response when we believe we have done something wrong or failed in some way. This feeling can become even more intense when our actions, or lack thereof, contradict our personal or professional values. When guilt becomes excessive or chronic, it can lead to feelings of shame, making us struggle with relationships and day-to-day life. While some might try to cope with guilt by rationalizing their actions or downplaying the significance of the event, this can only provide temporary relief. If unaddressed, guilt can persist and intensify, leading to feelings of worthlessness, discouragement, or hopelessness. Read more: Trauma Healing for Executives: How Therapy Supports Professional GrowthHow Regret and Guilt Affect Mental Health
Regret and guilt, when left unresolved, can significantly impact mental health. Research has linked these emotions to various mental health issues. A 2015 study found that excessive guilt was strongly associated with preschool-onset depression. A 2013 study found a link between shame, a potential offshoot of guilt, and social anxiety. Moreover, unresolved guilt and regret can lead to chronic stress, which is a significant contributor to mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. They can also make it challenging for individuals to connect with loved ones, maintain relationships, and stay focused at work or school, thereby affecting their quality of life. Read more: Lawyer’s Lifeline: Therapy for Legal ProfessionalsThe Consequences of Unresolved Regret and Guilt
If not addressed, feelings of guilt and regret can build up over time, leading to severe consequences. These unresolved feelings can make a person feel worthless and discouraged, and in extreme cases, lead to feelings of hopelessness. Chronic guilt, especially when linked to family-related factors or overly strict upbringing, can lead to long-term mental health issues if not addressed during treatment. Additionally, guilt and regret can also lead to burnout, especially in high-achieving professionals who are continually seeking perfection. Burnout, characterized by chronic workplace stress, can lead to symptoms of depression and insomnia, and a variety of physical health issues, including high cholesterol, diabetes, heart disease, and more. At Momentum Psychology, we offer effective therapy for professionals struggling with regrets and guilt. Our aim is to help you work through these emotions and explore ways to create positive change. We believe that every person makes mistakes, and it’s crucial to understand that guilt and regret are normal human emotions. It’s not about eliminating these feelings, but learning to manage them effectively. Read more: Thriving in Law: Therapy for Legal ProfessionalsConclusion
Embracing the Present and Moving Forward from Regret
Regrets are a natural part of life. They signify that we are human, capable of making mistakes, and capable of learning from them. However, when regrets start to consume our thoughts and dictate our actions, it is time to seek help. The first step towards healing is acceptance – recognizing that we cannot change the past but we can influence our present and future. As professionals, we often find ourselves in high-stress environments that don’t always allow us the time and space to process our feelings. Unfortunately, this can lead to a buildup of unresolved regrets and guilt, which can take a toll on our mental health. This is why it’s crucial to find healthy ways to cope with these feelings, whether that’s through self-care routines, mindfulness exercises, or professional therapy. Read more: Transformative Therapy for High-Energy ProfessionalsThe Importance of Seeking Help and Utilizing Therapy
Therapy, especially cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), has been proven to be effective in helping individuals cope with regret. CBT helps us understand the thought patterns that lead to feelings of regret and teaches us how to restructure these thoughts in a healthier way. Therapy can also provide a safe space for us to express our regrets and guilt without judgment, allowing us to process these feelings and move forward. At Momentum Psychology, we believe that therapy is a crucial tool for professionals struggling with regrets. We offer online therapy sessions, making it easier for busy professionals to take care of their mental health. Our approach involves using empirically-based practices grounded in neurocognitive and behavioral science to help you handle difficult thoughts and feelings more effectively. Our team of therapists is trained in various therapy methods including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy (RO-DBT), and Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT). We’re committed to helping you find meaning in your regrets, leverage them towards your growth, and increase your ability to stay present. It’s never too late to seek help. If you’re a professional struggling with regrets and you’re ready to make a change, don’t hesitate to reach out to us. Let us walk with you on this journey towards healing and self-discovery. Embrace the present and move forward from regret with Momentum Psychology. Read more: Stress Management For Professionals Through TherapyPractical Strategies for Dealing with Regret
From our work with high-achieving professionals, we at Momentum Psychology understand that regret is a universal human experience and can be particularly challenging for those in high-pressure roles. However, these feelings can be managed and even leveraged for growth and self-improvement. Here, we’ll discuss some practical strategies to deal with regret.Acknowledging and Accepting Regret
The first step in dealing with regret is to acknowledge and accept its presence. It’s part of our human nature to feel regret about past actions or decisions. As Russ Harris, an expert on Emotion Regulation and ACT, noted, “The more we try to avoid the basic reality that all human life involves pain, the more we are likely to struggle with that pain when it arises, thereby creating even more suffering.” This acceptance can be tough, but it’s a critical step towards healing and moving forward. Read more: Therapy Resources For Healthcare Professionals Empowering PhysiciansDisrupting the Cycle of Shame and Guilt
Regret often feeds into a destructive cycle of shame and guilt. Top experts such as George Faller and Stan Tatkin have developed strategies to disrupt this cycle, such as Compassion-Focused Therapy, which chips away at shame and regret. This approach promotes understanding and forgiveness, helping clients to shift out of so-called “shame convictions”. It’s important to remember, however, that this process can take time and often requires the guidance of a professional therapist. Read more: Why Therapy for High Performers Charlotte Professionals WorksReframing Negative Self-Talk and Developing Self-Compassion
Part of the process of dealing with regret involves reframing negative self-talk. This means challenging and changing the way we talk to ourselves about our past mistakes. As per the insights from Steven Hayes, co-developer of ACT, “Pain and purpose are two sides of the same thing. You hurt where you care, and you care where you hurt.” Developing self-compassion is a vital part of this process. As Kristin Neff emphasizes in her work, self-compassion can be a powerful antidote to shame. It encourages us to treat ourselves with the same kindness and understanding we would offer a friend in the same situation.Using Regret as a Catalyst for Change
Finally, regret can be used as a catalyst for change. Rather than allowing regret to keep you stuck in the past, it can serve as a powerful motivator for self-improvement and growth. As Bessel Van Der Kolk noted in The Body Keeps the Score, “In order to change, people need to become aware of their sensations and the way that their bodies interact with the world around them. Physical self-awareness is the first step in releasing the tyranny of the past.” At Momentum Psychology, we are committed to helping professionals navigate these complex emotions and use regret as a catalyst for positive change. Our therapy for professionals struggling with regrets is designed to provide practical, effective strategies to turn regret into a stepping stone for personal and professional growth.Therapy for Professionals Struggling with Regrets
The Role of Therapy in Addressing Regret
Regret can be a challenging emotion to navigate, especially for busy professionals who often juggle multiple responsibilities and high-pressure situations. What’s more, the nature of regret – deep-seated remorse or guilt over actions taken or not taken – can make it especially tricky to deal with on your own. This is where therapy comes in. As mental health professionals, we see therapy as a tool for understanding and processing regret. A skilled therapist can help you identify the root cause of your regrets and explore the emotions tied to them. Furthermore, therapy can equip you with strategies to manage feelings of regret and prevent them from hindering your ability to make decisions and move forward.How Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Can Help
A particularly effective approach for dealing with regret is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). CBT is an evidence-based treatment that focuses on challenging and changing unhelpful cognitive distortions and behaviors, improving emotional regulation, and the development of personal coping strategies. CBT can help professionals struggling with regret in several ways. First, it can assist in identifying and challenging negative thought patterns that amplify feelings of regret. Second, it can help in developing healthier and more balanced thought patterns. Lastly, CBT can teach practical coping strategies to manage feelings of regret and guilt, helping you move from an “If only” mindset to a more constructive perspective. At Momentum Psychology, we use a range of empirically-based practices grounded in neurocognitive and behavioral science, such as CBT, to help our clients move through life transitions and cope with feelings of regret.The Benefits of Online Therapy for Busy Professionals
Given the demanding nature of professional life, finding time for in-person therapy can be a significant hurdle. This is why we offer online therapy delivered via secure video meetings. Research has shown that online therapy can provide the same quality of care as in-person therapy, making it an ideal solution for busy professionals. Online therapy offers several benefits. It eliminates commuting time, making it easier to fit sessions into a busy schedule. It also offers the comfort and privacy of your own space, which can make sessions feel less intimidating and more conducive to open discussion. At Momentum Psychology, our mission is to offer a variety of online therapy services to help you focus on your needs. We take the stress out of getting the treatment you deserve with our flexible, convenient, and easy-to-use therapy and assessment services. Dealing with regret doesn’t mean erasing past mistakes, but learning from them and using that knowledge to foster growth and positive change. As your partner in this journey, we are here to guide and support you every step of the way.Regret is “I wish I’d chosen differently.” Guilt targets a behavior (“I did something wrong”) while shame targets the self (“There’s something wrong with me”). Naming the right emotion matters—guilt can motivate repair; shame tends to fuel withdrawal and rumination.
Useful. Regret arises from counterfactual thinking (“what might have been”) and can drive better future choices when you extract lessons. Over the long run, people tend to report more regrets of inaction than action—helpful to know when deciding your next step.
That replay is rumination. Treatments that target rumination directly—like Rumination-Focused CBT (RF-CBT)—show promising reductions in rumination and depressive symptoms; standard CBT helps too, especially when it includes reappraisal skills.
Strong options: CBT (challenge all-or-nothing thinking), ACT (accept feelings + take values-aligned action), and compassion-based work (reduce self-criticism/shame). Meta-analyses support ACT’s efficacy across conditions and show self-compassion interventions reduce distress and self-criticism.
Cognitive reappraisal: rewrite the meaning of what happened (“What else could be true?”).
• Acceptance: allow the feeling without fighting it, then re-engage with values. Both strategies are linked to better emotional health.
Often yes. Expressive writing about stressful events shows small but reliable benefits for mental and physical health, and newer work suggests positive-focus writing can lift mood while still shifting thinking—use either as a 10–20-minute, 3–4 day practice.
Use MCII/WOOP: picture the Wish/Outcome, then contrast with the Obstacle, and make an if-then Plan (“If I start ruminating after a meeting, then I’ll draft one repair email”). A meta-analysis shows MCII improves goal attainment (g≈0.34).
They can help. Reviews show forgiveness interventions reduce anger, stress, and depressive symptoms; emerging work on self-forgiveness protocols also shows benefits. Pair skills training with concrete amends when appropriate.
Yes. Meta-analyses find video psychotherapy is no less efficacious than in-person, especially for CBT targeting anxiety/depression/PTSD—the common companions of regret spirals. That makes staying consistent much easier on a busy calendar.
Ask your therapist to use measurement-based care (brief symptom/goal check-ins each visit) and routine outcome monitoring—approaches linked to better outcomes and fewer drop-outs. Track progress on rumination, mood, sleep, and weekly values-aligned actions.