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WHY TRYING TO CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS DOESN'T WORK

DR. JAN NEWMAN

women doing yoga

This month, in Episode 2 of the Mastering Momentum podcast, I start the conversation about emotional control and why it does not work.

We tackle a few things:

  • The traps that can block us from performing at our highest level
  • How to spot your own emotional control agenda
  • A practice that helps you “disobey on purpose” and lean into internal experience and move through it more easily – a key to banishing burnout and crushing chronic stress!
LISTEN TO THE EPISODE
  • Because suppression triggers a paradox: the brain keeps scanning for the very thought you’re pushing away, so it rebounds and sticks around longer. Over time, this “experiential avoidance” is linked with more distress, not less.
  • Ask people not to think of a white bear and they think of it more—the classic rebound effect from thought-suppression experiments (Wegner et al.). That’s why “stop thinking about it” backfires. 
  • Brief, intentional grounding or breathing can help you reset in the moment—useful for panic or spikes. But as a long-term strategy, chronic suppression/distraction maintains problems; pair short resets with skills and values-based action. 
  • Acceptance + willingness: notice and allow inner experiences while choosing helpful action. Across lab and clinical studies, acceptance reduces subjective anxiety and avoidance compared to suppression.
  • Yes. Affect labeling (putting feelings into words) reliably lowers amygdala reactivity and engages prefrontal control circuits—one reason “name it to tame it” is a keeper.
  • Reframing (cognitive reappraisal) is consistently linked with better outcomes than expressive suppression in correlational and experimental work. Translation: change your relationship with the thought, don’t muzzle it.
  • Treat them as mental events, not orders. Suppressing intrusions increases their persistence; instead, notice/label and re-engage in valued activity. If they’re frequent/distressing, evidence-based care (e.g., ERP/ACT) helps.
  • Use short, repeated reps: 5–10 minutes of mindfulness practice (present-moment, non-judgmental attention) plus one values micro-step daily. Mindfulness programs show reliable benefits for anxiety/depression and stress; pairing them with values-based action compounds gains. 
Far far away, behind the word mountains, far from the countries Vokalia and Consonantia, there live the blind texts. Separated they live in Bookmarksgrove right at the coast
Far far away, behind the word mountains, far from the countries Vokalia and Consonantia, there live the blind texts. Separated they live in Bookmarksgrove right at the coast
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